The Stimulus Dilemma

“I invested it in my t-shirt business TCat Designs:

The Stimulus Dilemma
(sung to the tune of “ If I Only Had A Brain”)

I could spend it all on flowers,
Or a massage to last for hours
To take away my pains.
But that seems so very blasé
There must be a greater way
To stimulate my stimulus

Maybe a coat that’s made from llamas
Or a one way ticket to the Bahamas
Would Dubya really approve?
Those choices seem neurotic,
I should be more patriotic
To stimulate my stimulus

Oh I should stop and think
And not just spend it on food and drink
Should I pay off that big Visa bill?
Or donate it,
to Barak or Hil

But would the President approve
If I made such a move?
To help the other side.
No I’ll save it for a rainy
Would that put a smile on Cheney?
I must stimulate my stimulus.

I could drag my cats to the vet
Or see an opera at the Met
Would that help the economy?
Maybe a Lowe’s shopping spree
With 300 bucks that’s free
I must stimulate my stimulus

There’s that piece of art I like
Or maybe a new bike
Is that really practical?
I shouldn’t be so rash
When spending this special cash
How do I stimulate my stimulus??

Oh I could get a rise,
In that place between my thighs
But that’s $15 for one blue pill
On second thought–
I’ll do it myself

Now I sit in such derision
On how to make my decision
Georgie! Give me a sign!
I know! I’m such a whiz!
I’ll invest it in my biz
Let’s stimulate TCat Designs!! “

TCat Toomey, 40, Artist/Educator
Brooklyn, NY